A Pat on the Back Moment

After exchanging a brief conversation w/ a Dean on my jeepney ride back to the office, I suddenly heard someone say "Hi, Ate." I turned around & to my surprise, I saw this kid whose connection to me is something I do not want to elaborate. Anyway, I gave him my warmest hello and asked how he was. The last time I saw this kid was a month after he graduated 2 years ago. I asked him what's he up to after college. After he told me he's on his 2nd year in the med school, I focused my questions there just to prevent dead air. Until I ran out of things to say.

At the back of my mind, I wanted to ask about our great connection, but decided not to. This kid has nothing to do with the outcome of things. He should not be treated as collateral damage (& I don't believe on that, too). However, I made a covenant with myself that I'd have a total shut down because that is the way to, move along, as I want to put it. And I believe it is better if it stays that way. So, I allowed silence to take over until it was time for me to hop off the jeep. I told him, "Dito na ako, ayo ayo ha?" Then we exchanged Christmas greetings.

As I was walking towards the office I was bombarded w/ tons of thoughts. Will our great connection find out about our encounter? How will he say it? How will he react? Will it even be a relevant info for him?

I guess I'll never know. But what I do know for now is that I was able to keep my word. And I wished the kid well before I left.

This is the best feeling I have this week, by far.

Under Siege

I would like to apologize for flooding the timeline with anything but relevant (it’s not even anything, actually! It is a particular something!) tweets. See, when I logged in last Monday on my Twitter account, I immediately started to help trend the Lois and Clark reunion I practically overlooked that people were tweeting about the Zamboanga siege. As I was figuring out what was really going on there, I guiltily thought that a part of my region is in lockdown (with civilians even taken hostage by rebels), but here I am tweeting about old songs, favorite lines, and pictures that would remind me of this rekindled obsession.

Before y’all judge me for being insensitive, shallow, and apathetic to what is going on in Zamboanga, hear me out. Not that somebody accused me to be either one of those words I mentioned, but I would like to first say that I really had no idea what really happened. On how the attack came about, on what triggered it, that sort of thing. My initial online research told me that some rebels from the MNLF claimed that it is now high time for Zamboanga to be returned to them, thus they decided to take over, as ordered by their chief, Nur Misuari. Some reports claimed that they were supposed to be on their way for their protest to be held in front of the city hall but some soldiers tried to attack them before they even reach their venue. I know I am missing some important information in my summary—and that is the main reason why I kept mum over this issue online. Aside from that, it is not only the MNLF that is showing up on news updates, MILF also keeps popping up. Who are they anyway? Are they also under MNLF? Why are they linked more to terrorist threats than MNLF? I have always thought about Nur Misuari, the MNLF chief, as a calm leader who is willing to keep the possibilities open for peace talks with the government. But with what is going on…and what people close to them have been telling the media on what really their objective is on the attack, I am in total confusion. Like someone placed me in the middle of a football field one season and I don't even know how to play the sport. I don’t actually know who and what to believe anymore. Besides, this tension between the MNLF and the government, the military and the rebels, and even between the Muslims and the Christians are what I considered very sensitive issues. I would rather choose my words and get my facts straight before I even form a strong opinion.

 With Lois and Clark, however, it is the exact opposite. Back in High School, I remember swooning over how handsome Dean Cain was as Superman, and that he and Teri Hatcher make a very beautiful couple on screen. Twenty years after, thanks to another Superman film that came out, I got curious again over this 90s version. Why was I head over heels addicted to the show, really?

I finally found my answer…after 20 years. Funny I need to waste that much time to realize that Superman should be on top of my superheroes list.  Going over specifics is basically another story, but in a nutshell the fact that this hero emphasized on truth and justice, and ceaselessly fights crime in Metropolis is something I can easily dissect, if given the chance. Of course there is this ongoing theme of their love story, on why it is something that most hopeless romantics [like me] cherish, but the bottomline is that I entirely understand this hero’s story. Why “Superman is what he can do, and Clark is who he really is.” is the revolving theme during the Superman of the 90s. I know why he thinks like that, and why he saves people from trouble and danger. On why he cares, and why he uses his powers to do good and nothing more. It is something I can openly share, without hesitation, without fear, and definitely without doubt. As long as it is about the Lois and Clark of the 90s, I can just rant on and on and on and I can even cite episodes, if you will!

I also would like to think that with what is really going on in my region, in the world, and even in my surroundings, it still pays to keep in mind what this hero truly stood for. The more I think about his morals and ethics, the more I realize that no matter how the cruel the world can be, and no matter how people can be against you, the most important weapon that a person can have is his/ her principles. On what they truly believe in. On what they really stand for on this earth.

And that is what I will be. I may not have super powers. I may not even be a person of power and influence, but I believe like the Man of Steel, if I hold on to my values, if I continue to believe that doing things right is still the best thing, then I know I can give enough power to make a difference. And one way of putting that to action is choosing the right words and venue to express my opinion. 

I’m afraid that I will be flooding the timeline again about that good ‘ol TV show, and because of that, I apologize again. Rest assured that those Superman tweets are accompanied with a silent prayer for the people in Zamboanga, and a fervent wish that this will be over soon. That the good will prevail over evil, and that both the MNLF and the government will agree on keeping Zamboanga---and the rest of Mindanao peaceful.  And if Superman was real, I’d even hope that he would just drop everything he’s doing at the Daily Planet and fly over and negotiate to these 2 parties to prevent further bloodshed. But since he doesn't exist in real life, I just hope that the Superman within us can help make even a small difference to our country. That would definitely be...super. 

A Lesson: From One Smoker to Another

I thought it was going to be just another typical Friday afternoon at The Peak in Gaisano Mall when I had my after lunch smoke. The weather was neither inviting nor conducive for smoking, but I smoked anyway because a day without nicotine is definitely not going to end well—at least that’s how I see it. So, I consumed my first stick like it’s my favorite chocolate bar I immediately lit up another one. As I was having my first puff from that second stick, I saw two teenage boys in school uniform (probably High School students) tapping their cigarette sticks on their thumbnail while approaching to the smoking area. They exchanged a few more sentences before one of the boys walked towards this short, oriental-looking guy standing on my left to ask for a light. What happened next was interesting. I heard the guy asked a question to the boy, said a few words then threw his cigarette butt to the trash can beside me and left. At the corner of my eye, I saw the boy stopped tapping, his right hand with the cigarette hanging midair, looking at his left and right, possibly checking who witnessed that conversation and at the same time, who to ask for a light next. Here’s what I think he told the boy. “You’re still a student right?  Sorry but I won’t light your cigarette.”

While he was walking farther away, I was staring at him like he’s some superhero. At the same time, I felt this certain shame for the boy for having been rejected, and for myself, for tolerating some students to smoke by giving them a light previously. I hurriedly threw my unconsumed stick, in fear that he might go to me for a light and commit that sin for tolerating them to have this vice like I do, and walked away as fast as I could.  This is what’s going on in my head as I was leaving the smoking area: sure, we cannot tolerate students, particularly High School students to smoke especially if they are wearing their school uniform. But on the other side, as I keep telling friends, especially my non-smoking friends, smoking is a decision. And as long as you finance your own vice, and can still afford to eat three times a day despite having that vice, then I do not see any problem with that. Besides, I further defended myself, those students that I lent my lighter are in college. They are old enough to choose to smoke cigarettes and drink booze. Unlike with High School students, most of them smoke out of fad or peer pressure.

So what will I do if I run into this situation again? I mean this time, I'm the one who is being asked for a light. Will I have the guts—or the heart to do the same thing as the guy did? These teens can also defend themselves by saying, “if you think smoking is bad, then why do you still smoke? You are also not setting a good example.” Honestly, I still do not know what to do. Whether if I have the heart to say no, or if I will be cheerful giving them a light. I just hope that no students will ask me for a light in the near future!

Sure, the ultimate solution here is to quit smoking. But that’s not what smokers (me included) want to hear. We quit at our own pace, at our own time. But if I am to impart a word or two to budding smokers out there, here’s what I’ve got to say: Don’t start too early. And make sure you finance your own vice!