To Act Like Nothing's Wrong

It's de-dedicated...


Fool. I don’t want to drag you into my pathetic life anymore. I’m sorry.


Dear Tabi,

Funny how nuna would look up to you at a time like this.
Your song kept playing over and over in my head today. Is it because you mentioned birthday in your lyrics? Maybe. Strange, you speak a language foreign to me, but I listen to you rap like it is also my mother tongue.
But this particular song, it speaks something more than that word that inevitably lingers in my head today. That also inevitably make me feel like my heart has been pulled back down to the ground. I wonder at first if you are a friend or an enemy. If you are someone worth admiring, or I might just end up looking at you with dismay, realizing that you are no different? Why do you want to act like nothing happened? Do you want to come back? Or do you want to forget?
I later realized you wanted both—the way I wanted things to happen to me as well. I think that is impossible—and I think you also think the same way because you took the blame, chose to forget everything, and moved on.
But look where you are now? You left no room for regrets. No room for looking back at the past, which I believe you painfully left behind. I wish I can also do the same, Tabi. I wish I can also overcome this beautifully and happily. The stars that surround you shines so bright it says everything turns out good.
How I wish that I could catch even a speck of your stardust. Maybe it would help me fully realize that everything is all good indeed.
But for now, your song will be part of my mantra. One of the songs in my life story. I will keep telling myself that it is my fault, that I am to blame for this thing that still continues to drag me down. I will keep telling myself that life has always been, and will always be good.
So Tabi, please continue to rap our miseries away. Nuna still needs it to get by.