jinxing it

You asked why I don't want to tell everything. Why I don't want to be blatantly honest. I honestly told you I was scared. I was scared to tell you everthing. I was scared of jinxing it.

You asked me to define "jinxing it," like how can being honest jinx a certain thing. I explained. I am afraid that once those words, those statements come out of my mouth, things will change. Change for the worse, so to speak. It happened before, when I said everything and later on, it fell apart. I don't want it to happen now and I don't want it to happen again, if possible.

When will I be able to say it all? Maybe when I have overcome that fear. When I will no longer be afraid to fall and won't mind if someone will catch me or not.

When I will be assured that it would all be worth saying it all once again...