I remembered an episode in Will & Grace where Will saw his ex waiting on tables. He knew he was an undercover police when they were going out, and when he told him that that was what he was doing, he couldn't help but think that he "fell apart" after they called it quits. It was a sort of a feather in the cap for Will. Like maybe he realized that he couldn't live without him that's why he was falling apart. What he didn't know was, he was waiting tables as part of his undercover job with his boss also pretending to be a regular customer in the resto to help him out in case their man would come in and would give them enough evidence to arraign him or something (I am not that familiar with the legal terms or whatever you call that, so do pardon me!). To cut the story short, because of Will's sympathy of him being a "loser," he was following his ex around the resto asking him if there is anything that he could do. Of course, his ex was putting him off because he needed to concentrate on his job. Thanks to Will, it was discovered that he was still an undercover cop and that created chaos in the place. Thinking that it was a disaster, Will thought he had actually ruined everything for him. But then of course, he was wrong. The boss even congratulated him for a job well done despite the disaster that has happened. I wasn't able to fully watch the episode, but it ended with Will feeling bad because his ex turned out to be a better man after all. It was like he had this realization that he didn't turn out worse when they broke up. That it was the other way around. In other words, it was him that ended up regretting why he let their relationship end, somewhat like that.
At that time, I sympathized with Will--no, I empathized with Will. Let's just say that I am in a similar situation. I practically gave up a job that pays technically well, that's located in the country's capital, and was considered a stable, one of the most lucrative companies in the country at that just to return home, think things over and fix stuff, as what I've been telling everybody. Before that, I was practically hopping from one job to the other, and practically all of them were either not financially compensating, or it's making me look utterly pathetic. I have been planning to go to graduate school, or just take a graduate course, but until now, they still remain as plans. In other words, I wasn't growing. Absolutely not someone that you could go "ooh" and "aah" on when you hear what I have been up to.
Then you would be able to hear that someone you knew from your past is doing further studies (and about to graduate, I suppose), recently got a job in one of the most prestigious companies in the city, and financially compensating at that. He didn't experience the pleasure of hopping from one menial job to the other because he damn well knows where he is heading. Therefore, he is growing. He is definitely turning into someone your mama can be proud of.
I am not trying to say here that I was like Will that I regretted ending it almost half a decade ago. I may felt a bit insecure on what is going on in my life, but the good thing here is, I have fully understood the reason why it should happen. Like it was then that I was able to fully accept the reason why it happened.
As what I tell people when asked how each of us are faring, I would say "at least he turned out to be a better man after all..."
and then I would sigh.
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